apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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