Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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