I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
