You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
