Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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