i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize