I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And then my night got REAL pukey
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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