I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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