They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There r osticjed everywhere
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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