So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
