I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
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My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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