so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
