I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize