my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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