A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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