feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize