It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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