Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
