Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she woke up with a sticky ear
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up under a house in Key West
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
