i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
