So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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