porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
