3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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