Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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