erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
