Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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