I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
