stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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