Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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