I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
