Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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