So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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