so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
