I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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