Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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