i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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