Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
