I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
