You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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