Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
