I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my liver is dry heaving
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
