I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize