I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
