he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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