Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
