just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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