Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
