I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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