we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize