Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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