i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dear god my vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
