i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
