she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
