So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
