can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
