Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
