Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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