She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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