I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
