I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
