Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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