dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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